- Do we let them run wild like an unbridled colt?
- Do we discipline them, tame them and put a check on them?
- Is God in our thoughts?
- Do we try to avoid what is displeasing to God?
- Do we accept without complaint all that God sends us?
6. Love is not provoked----paroxUnetai means to provide, irritate, excite.
· Love is not quick-tempered.
· Love is not quick to take offence.
· Love never flies in a temper.
· Love is not easily irritated.
· Love is not resentful.
· A quick tempered person is one who is easily provoked to anger, one who has a short fuse.
· Hasty temper, impatient rebukes, sullen looks, harsh words, they never do any good!· It took St Francis de Sales years to learn that the best answer to temper is silence.
· When Julius Caesar was provoked, he would repeat the entire Roman alphabet before he would speak as he has found that “the greatest remedy for anger is delay.”
· A quick tempered person can be
(i) Testy ---flaring up at the least annoyance.
(ii) Touchy ---reacting vehemently when certain subjects are broached.
(iii) Irrational---just flying into a rage or fury without reason.
7. Love thinks no evil---loglzetai means to reckon, calculate, compute.
· Love does not brood over injuries.
· Love keeps no score of wrongs.
· Love does not store up the memory of any wrong it has received.
· Love does not calculate evil.
· Love does not record in memory every hurt to repay it later.
· It is foolish to carry hurts like gunnysack on our backs all through life.
8. Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth---adikla means a wrong, an offence, injustice and alethEla means truth.
· Love does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
· Love does not gloat over other men’s sins.
· Love finds no pleasure in evil-doing.
· Love does not rejoice in injustice.
· There are human vultures who gloat over other’s shortcoming, who rejoice over the failures of others, who glorify the vices of lust and immorality.
(i) To be good at anything we have to spend time and effort studying and practicing it.
(ii) To be loving we need to know what love is and what love is NOT.
(iii) We should not confuse love with the Hollywood-type-of movie love.
What then is love?
True love at its very basic is:
1.(a) Patient Do I accommodate his/her views, his idiosyncrasies and his ways of doing things?
(b)Can(a I overlook his shortcomings or faults?
(c)Will I be able to bear the blame and accusation?
(d)Can I accept him as he is?
2.(a) Kind Do I have a kind heart towards him/her?
(b)Do I strive to make him happy?
(c)Do I uplift his spirit when he is anxious or depressed?
(d)Am I tender hearted towards him?
3. Forgiving Mother Teresa says, “We must make our homes centers of compassion and forgive endlessly.” (“A Gift for God”, 18)
(a)Do I try to forgive endlessly at home?
(b)Do I harbor grudges over a long period of time?
(c)Do I hold on to resentment?
(d)Do I keep a record of wrongs he has done to be used against him?
(e)Do I try to forgive and forget?
4.(a)Self-giving Do I make self-sacrifice for him/her?
(b)Am I generous towards him? Can I give in to the relatively unimportant comments and arguments?
(c)Do I give up my preferences, goals, comfort, time and energy for him?
5.(a)Encouraging Am I always encouraging or am I critical towards him/her?
(b)Do I affirm him?
(c)Am I his cheer leader?
(d)Do I see his potential or do I see him as he is?
(e)Do I constantly find ways to praise him?
(f)Have we spent the time to cultivate and nurture these qualities or are we so engrossed with making a living that we don’t bother about such things?
(g)How then can we be good at loving?
Ultimately relationship, not what we achieved or acquired, is what matters most in life. So why do we allow our relationships to get the short end of the stick? When our schedules become overloaded, we start skimming---cutting back on giving the time, energy, and attention that loving relationships require. What’s most important to us is replaced by what is most urgent. When life on earth is ending, we don’t surround ourselves with objects. What we want around us is people---people we love and have relationships with. In our final moments we all realize that relationships are what life is all about. Learning this truth sooner rather than later is wisdom. Why then wait until we are on our deathbed to figure out that nothing matters more than a loving relationship?